how i feel recently

there are so much much times that ive been spending way unwisely. i dont know if i have to regret it, i really do want to but sometimes i feel like i dont wanna put the blame on me. selfish, i know. but yea, this is exactly what i think. most of you may dont understand what i mean, yea.. im posting this just to make myself feel better. i dont know whats right and real anymore. *you know i quoted lily allen :|
i want to feel.. again. this way, i dont feel like im alive, i just feel like i have a blank body, you know, like you stand up in a white empty room. scary right? because you dont get used to it.
thats exactly how i feel. i dont get used to my entire life now.
i always do daydream. sometimes i feel like a silly one. since im not pretty i just think i let down my confidence way to deep.
i want everything, money, thinner body, taller body, smarter brain, better life?
i just feel.. empty

down deep...
dark...
what you found is...

nothing

what a life

yet i still have ^ this face. thank God.

oh hey, i broke up :P